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Suicide awareness, Bullying, Grief and Healing: A Conversation We Need to Have
Written by: Andrew Hardman | Sep 2025
September Is Suicide Awareness Month: A Father’s Story
September is Suicide Awareness Month, a reminder to many who have dealt with the loss of a loved one by suicide that we’re not alone. Through sharing our stories, we hope to raise awareness and prevent further loss. Mine, unfortunately, is as a parent of a young son.
My boy Drayke lit up rooms. He loved Utah Jazz basketball, laughed loud and often, and made sure nobody sat alone. He was only twelve when he died. We thought we were doing everything right; we got the school involved when a classmate bullied him, the child was even suspended. He came home with a black eye one day and tried to hide the story, telling his sister about a fight at school. On a Wednesday night he asked to skip basketball practice; we chalked it up to exhaustion, not desperation. That evening he took his own life. His sisters found him, we rushed him to the hospital and held his hand while doctors did what they could. By morning, our boy was gone.
It is hard to put into words what that feels like. Anger, guilt, heartbreak and an emptiness that doesn’t leave. It forces you to replay every conversation and look for things you might have missed.
I believe children aren’t naturally angry; being a bully is learned, usually from experience. We can’t fix this problem only with punishment. We need to teach and show the next generation that the world can be cruel, but they don’t have to be.
Cannabis, Sleep and PTSD
After we lost Drayke I didn’t sleep, because every time I closed my eyes I replayed that night. Nightmares became a nightly visitor; waking up gasping for breath was my new normal. Therapy helped, but there were still nights when I needed something to calm the storm.
I’m from Utah, a state better known for fry sauce than cannabis. I grew up hearing all the stereotypes about “potheads.” But grief pushed me to look outside the box. Through conversations with a doctor and friends, I learned that certain products are formulated to specifically help with sleep and PTSD-related nightmares. I tried cannabis through Utah’s medical program, and for the first time since losing my son I slept through the night. The dreams of that horrible evening faded into the background.
That doesn’t mean cannabis cured my pain or that it’s a solution for everyone. For me it was a tool, a way to turn down the volume long enough to rest and keep doing the hard work of healing. I still go to therapy. I still talk to my wife and daughters. I still cry. But I’m not ashamed to say that a plant helped me sleep when nothing else did. If you’re struggling with sleep from trauma, talk to a medical provider. Don’t self-medicate; get informed. Utah law requires a medical card and physician approval, and that process ensures you’re using it responsibly.
A Dad’s Plea
Losing Drayke broke my heart but opened my eyes. Suicide isn’t an abstract statistic or a plot point on a TV show; it’s families like mine waking up without a child, a mother or a sibling. It’s why I speak up even when it hurts. It’s why I tried cannabis when I couldn’t sleep. It’s why I’ll keep telling our story until there isn’t another Drayke.
If you take anything from this, let it be this: be kind, be curious, and be willing to have uncomfortable conversations. We all deserve a world where kindness is cool and asking for help is normal. It’s too late for my son, but it’s not too late for you, or those hurting around you.
Why Suicide Awareness Matter in Utah
Talking about suicide is uncomfortable, but ignoring it costs lives. Utah has some of the highest suicide rates in the U.S. In 2023 the state’s age-adjusted suicide rate was 20.9 per 100,000 people, almost 50% higher than the national average. Over 40% of Americans personally know someone who was lost to suicide. These numbers aren’t here to scare you; they’re a call to check in on your people and to normalize conversations about mental health.
What Parents and Friends Can Do
- Talk early and often. We asked our son if he was thinking about hurting himself and he said no. Kids may hide their struggles because they fear retaliation. Keep asking, even if it feels awkward.
- Watch for changes. Drayke’s black eye and his sudden desire to skip basketball practice were signs we missed. Withdrawal, changes in sleep, giving away possessions or talking about feeling trapped are all red flags.
- Teach kindness. We started the Do It for Drayke movement to remind people that bullying kills. Challenge your kids to be the person who stands up for others. Make “snitches get stitches” an outdated phrase.
- Educate yourself. Understand that bullies often come from a bad situation themselves. Addressing mental health means supporting everyone, victims and aggressors. Together let’s break the cycle.
Reach out for help. If you or someone you love is thinking about suicide, call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or talk to a professional. Utah also has the SafeUT app, which connects students with counselors. Don’t wait.
Reference Links:
IBIS-PH - Complete Health Indicator Report - Suicide
https://ibis.utah.gov/ibisph-view/indicator/complete_profile/SuicDth.html
Suicide prevention | DHHS Violence and Injury Prevention Program